Tag: attachment theory
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My Best Tip Continued
Here’s my best tip continued from the last post: When you get a great job, you do everything you can to be successful and work your way to promotions and raises. When you find a great partner, please do everything you can to be successful and make your way to deeper intimacy, caring, connection, love,…
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Choose Your Beloved Daily
Choose Your Beloved Daily A colleague sent me an article about a man who chose his partner less and less each day for five years. They were both miserable in their “immature love.” As I’ve written in many of my columns, you need to choose your partner every day. And when you find yourself choosing…
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Communal Sexual Strength and Motivation
Communal Sexual Strength and Motivation In the October issue of Psychology Today I finally found a name for something I’ve been talking to clients about for many years: it’s called communal motivation, or communal strength*. If it’s important to you, it’s important to me. No Score Keeping You give to each other willingly and you…
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Increasing Number of Women Having Affairs
Increasing Number of Women Having Affairs I’ve noticed the trend of more women having affairs, and have been wondering about whether others had also noticed it, and what the reasons may be. I had a look around at the research and found a Bloomberg article from July 2013 that reported research from the National Opinion…
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Performance Review Your Marriage?
Performance Review Your Marriage? A recent Wall Street Journal article, A Performance Review May be Good for Your Marriage, suggests doing periodic marriage performance reviews. I support this idea. Small Corrections Early are the Best At times a small correction sooner than later is akin to redirecting an ocean liner or freighter — getting a…
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Marriage Interview 11: “Normal” Engineer Couple
Marriage Interview 11:”Normal” Engineer Couple George and Victoria met in 1990 through a matching service. But for some reason George didn’t return Victoria’s call for a few weeks, and when he finally did, she was literally on a date with an another man. Victoria was excited that George called, though, because on paper they were…
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Seven Months Since Mom Died
Seven Months Since Mom Died I really miss mom. I find myself talking to her sometimes; telling her how much I love her. I’ve been planting a succulent garden and growing tomatoes. I know she would be glad as she always offered to help me with gardening. So I find myself enjoying it just a…
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Have You Ever Had a Dog?
Have You Ever Had a Dog? This, readers, is unconditional love. Every time I get home, whether it’s only been 30 minutes or three hours, he literally leaps all around me. He wiggles, and bounces, and boings side-to-side. By then I am laughing and smiling. He runs around the yard leaping four to six feet…
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Accept Life Unquestioningly
“Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, then to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and…
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How Does Psychotherapy Work? Very Simply.
How Does Psychotherapy Work? Very Simply. I was recently reading “Shrunken Heads” by Gregory Lester, Ph.D., and came across these descriptions of what psychotherapy is and how it works: “Psychotherapy. . . is a treatment activity that is designed to work on the mechanisms of the human psyche in such a way as to give…