Tag: commitment
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Choose Your Beloved Daily
Choose Your Beloved Daily A colleague sent me an article about a man who chose his partner less and less each day for five years. They were both miserable in their “immature love.” As I’ve written in many of my columns, you need to choose your partner every day. And when you find yourself choosing…
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Communal Sexual Strength and Motivation
Communal Sexual Strength and Motivation In the October issue of Psychology Today I finally found a name for something I’ve been talking to clients about for many years: it’s called communal motivation, or communal strength*. If it’s important to you, it’s important to me. No Score Keeping You give to each other willingly and you…
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Joe, Joan, and Helen: Crossdressing
Joe, Joan, and Helen: Crossdressing “Joan is my feminine side,” Joe told me. Joe has been dressing in women’s clothes since he was a young boy. Joe and Helen have been married for 25 years. They met at a dance and dinner party, hit it off, and have been a couple ever since. Joe is…
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Increasing Number of Women Having Affairs
Increasing Number of Women Having Affairs I’ve noticed the trend of more women having affairs, and have been wondering about whether others had also noticed it, and what the reasons may be. I had a look around at the research and found a Bloomberg article from July 2013 that reported research from the National Opinion…
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Performance Review Your Marriage?
Performance Review Your Marriage? A recent Wall Street Journal article, A Performance Review May be Good for Your Marriage, suggests doing periodic marriage performance reviews. I support this idea. Small Corrections Early are the Best At times a small correction sooner than later is akin to redirecting an ocean liner or freighter — getting a…
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Number One at Home, “Average” Here?
Number One at Home, “Average” Here? Were you number one in your class? Were you the smart kid? A geek? Whether you got kudos for it or bullied, or a reaction in between, your smarts are likely tied in with your self-image.Now that you’re here in Silicon Valley, you’re probably in with your peers — you…
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Better!
Better! I find it very interesting that since I wrote about my grief and fuzzy brain last week, it is clearing up. I am profoundly grateful for this change. Journaling I definitely can’t say it’s a causal link. But I do know from years of journaling that writing things out helps me make sense of…
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Accept Life Unquestioningly
“Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, then to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and…
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How Does Psychotherapy Work? Very Simply.
How Does Psychotherapy Work? Very Simply. I was recently reading “Shrunken Heads” by Gregory Lester, Ph.D., and came across these descriptions of what psychotherapy is and how it works: “Psychotherapy. . . is a treatment activity that is designed to work on the mechanisms of the human psyche in such a way as to give…
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Marriage Interview 10: A Cross-Cultural Love Story
Marriage Interview 10: A Cross-Cultural Love Story Katja and Bob are celebrating their 44th anniversary in August. They fell in love in 1970 and got married in 1971. Serendipity Bob was a hot salesman sent over to Europe to determine where and how to expand his company’s business. He travelled without a pre-determined itinerary, and…