Tag: fighting
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One Type of Difficulty in Marriage
One Type of Difficulty in Marriage I read the following description of a troubled marriage in Barefoot to Avalon, by David Payne. The book is an intimate look into family systems, pain, joy, dysfunction under the surface (think iceberg), and ultimately about love. There are many ways a marriage can be troubled, and this is…
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I Had No Idea How to Deal with Anger and Conflict
I Had No Idea How to Deal with Anger and Conflict Recently I was looking at one of my journals from the early 80s when I was 20 or 21 years old. I came across an entry about an interaction with my guy of that time. It reminded that I had no idea how to…
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My Best Tip for Your Marriage
My Best Tip for Your Marriage My best tip for your marriage is: Take care of your relationship. I realize that sounds simplistic, but it’s not. Love is created by many small acts, and grows. Deal with it While it’s Small Many of the couples we see at Connect2 Marriage Counseling didn’t address issues or…
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Choose Your Beloved Daily
Choose Your Beloved Daily A colleague sent me an article about a man who chose his partner less and less each day for five years. They were both miserable in their “immature love.” As I’ve written in many of my columns, you need to choose your partner every day. And when you find yourself choosing…
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Performance Review Your Marriage?
Performance Review Your Marriage? A recent Wall Street Journal article, A Performance Review May be Good for Your Marriage, suggests doing periodic marriage performance reviews. I support this idea. Small Corrections Early are the Best At times a small correction sooner than later is akin to redirecting an ocean liner or freighter — getting a…
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Marriage Interview 11: “Normal” Engineer Couple
Marriage Interview 11:”Normal” Engineer Couple George and Victoria met in 1990 through a matching service. But for some reason George didn’t return Victoria’s call for a few weeks, and when he finally did, she was literally on a date with an another man. Victoria was excited that George called, though, because on paper they were…
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Have You Ever Had a Dog?
Have You Ever Had a Dog? This, readers, is unconditional love. Every time I get home, whether it’s only been 30 minutes or three hours, he literally leaps all around me. He wiggles, and bounces, and boings side-to-side. By then I am laughing and smiling. He runs around the yard leaping four to six feet…
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Accept Life Unquestioningly
“Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, then to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and…
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How Does Psychotherapy Work? Very Simply.
How Does Psychotherapy Work? Very Simply. I was recently reading “Shrunken Heads” by Gregory Lester, Ph.D., and came across these descriptions of what psychotherapy is and how it works: “Psychotherapy. . . is a treatment activity that is designed to work on the mechanisms of the human psyche in such a way as to give…
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Give Way or Have it Your Way?
Give Way or Have it Your Way? What does Give Way mean in a relationship context? Active vs. Passive Yielding I’m thinking this morning of active yielding vs. passive yielding. Passive giving way may be a path of not dealing with an issue. Active giving way can be a healthy choice for a marriage. Some…