Connect2 Marriage Counseling

Author: chandrama

  • “That Sort of Jab Fell Under the Category of Unnecessary Roughness”

    -Claire Cain This line jumped out at me from Cain’s novel. I’m not talking about football. Maybe you know what I mean because you are the recipient of those jabs. Or maybe you’re the one jabbing, and either you know what you’re doing, and keep choosing to jab your partner, or you’re oblivious to your…

  • “No, it just explains it.”

    “I probably saved you from being seriously injured.”Did he expect her to thank him for that? “So you think that excuses your behavior?”“No, it just explains it.” I read this in a Coatney novel recently, and it struck a nerve. Even without the context of the whole interaction, it’s clear she was nonplussed with his…

  • What Do You Get Out of Being Stubborn?

    Oxford Languages defines stubborn thus: “having or showing dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so.” We are seeing stubbornness on a global scale, to the detriment of all. Yet this column is about couples, so I’ll narrow my focus to…

  • How Did You See Your Parents Treat One Another?

    If you want to know how your partner will treat you under stress, watch how his/her parents treat each other. So, why am I asking you this question? Because what you see growing up is set indelibly in your brain; they’re called neural pathways. And because people behave based on their pathways, even if they…

  • How Much Time do You Spend Outdoors?

    I’ve been spending a lot more time outdoors, walking, exploring and going on adventures. I’ve noticed I feel better physically and emotionally since increasing my outdoor time and getting more exercise. There are a few basic things we can all do to improve our mood, our health, and in the end, our productivity. Often people…

  • Where is Your Focus?

    Readers, please follow along with this exercise: Here’s how my lists look today: Three months Six months One Year List ComparisonWhat I’m noticing: there’s overlap between what I thought my focus was on and what I actually did focus on. I’m noticing that my health and migraines weren’t on a bunch of my lists. Yet…

  • Are You Having Sex?

    Talking with your partner about sex might lead to more sex, and better sex. What’s only in your head about your sexual intimacy? (As distinct from emotional intimacy; which can grow through a healthy sexual intimacy and vice-versa.) Most people don’t talk about sex with their partner. Most people are taught at a very early…

  • Lost Your Mojo?

    What do you do when you’ve lost your Mojo? Readers, you may not know it, but aside from writing this column for you, I went through a dry spell in my writing for three years! Yikes. It was really painful for me. I started writing a journal when I was nine or ten years old.…

  • My wife thinks I am keeping secrets . . .

    Dear Chandrama, My wife thinks I am keeping secrets from her. I am just trying to protect her. I had a challenging upbringing; hers was protected. That innocence attracted me to her, plus she is smart and attractive and we’re like-minded on many issues and values. What am I doing wrong? Dear What am I…

  • “To get the full value of joy . . .

    . . . you must have someone to divide it with.” – Mark Twain Who do you divide joy with? Today has been a rich day, dividing joy with my husband and two of my oldest friends (50 years friends). {IMG 6116.jpg} I saw the Hole in the Head at Bodega Head. I smelled fresh…