Connect2 Marriage Counseling

Where is Your Focus?

Readers, please follow along with this exercise:

  1. Off the top of your head, Where is your focus? Jot down the 3-5 immediate answers that pop into your head.
  2. Now, look at your calendar and however you track money spent in the last three months, six months, and a year. What are the top 3-5 answers you’ve written down?
  3. Compare the two lists. What do you notice? Are they the same? Is there overlap? Are there gaps between list one and list two? How do you feel seeing this?
  4. Is there anything you want to change in your life, now that you’ve done this exercise?

Here’s how my lists look today:

  1. My newly-retired husband and our life together.
  2. Getting settled (unpacking, changing addresses, updating insurance, etc.).
  3. Book, book, book (I Do, I Don’t: How to Build a Better Marriage). Writing, my artist, getting everything to my publisher, finding people to write the foreword/afterword, blurbs.
  4. Treating my clients with compassion, care, dignity, and a bit of humor.

Three months

  1. Moving (and everything related to that).
  2. Moving (coordinating with my husband).
  3. Moving, and just now, book.
  4. Clients.

Six months

  1. Time with my husband when he wasn’t at work.
  2. Book, book, book.
  3. Dealing with migraines.
  4. Clients.

One Year

  1. Getting healthy (exercise, PT, dealing with migraines, etc.).
  2. My husband/my marriage.
  3. Seeing a few friends (being an introvert, that’s normal for me).
  4. Book, book, book.

List Comparison
What I’m noticing: there’s overlap between what I thought my focus was on and what I actually did focus on. I’m noticing that my health and migraines weren’t on a bunch of my lists. Yet that was a huge focus.

How I Feel
I’m grateful I focused on my health. I’m sad I had to spend so much time and energy on migraines. I’m excited for the next phase of life with my husband, my work, my books, nature adventures, walks with my dog, Bixby, friends and family.

What I Want to Change
This is a transition time for me in several ways: my husband’s retirement; moving into the publishing phase while writing book two; I want to keep focused on maintaining and increasing my health and well-being; adding more fun to my life; hanging out with friends and family.

Readers, I hope this was a useful exercise for you. Please share with us what you learned or noticed.