While it is both impractical and unethical to have a side business selling double beds, it is also very tempting. I see a smaller bed as a tool for you to improve your relationship.
Here are snippets from couples about big beds:
- I am lonely.
- We are disengaged.
- My cat/dog sleeps between us.
- Our child(ren) sleep between us.
- We sleep as far apart as the bed will allow.
- I wish we cuddled in bed.
- I wish s/he would hold me in bed.
- I don’t know how to cross the desert of our bed.
- Sex?
Do any of these ring true for you? Is this how you see it? What does the big bed mean to each of you? What are the literal and symbolic stories of the gap between you?
Here are snippets from couples about smaller beds:
- I like us being wrapped around each other at night.
- I like being regulated as we sleep.
- I like sleeping close and then turning in different ways.
- Bed is “home” with you.
Bed is for:
- Sleep.
- Sex.
- Touch: contact; comfort; exploration; sexual; intimate.
- Reading (at times).
Bed is not for TV or devices.
Are these end-all, be-all rules? Of course not. Yet you do need to talk about it. Each person needs space and to be solid in his or her own Self, own feelings, own needs. Some people are too hot, others too cold. There are many things to discuss. Being explicit about bed is as important as being explicit about each aspect of your lives.
What experiments would you like to try regarding bed?
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#couples counseling
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