As a follow on to the last post, about serial relationships, on TV, at least, it all looks witty or fun, in which the “conversation with their ex, in front of their new spouse while their kids look on soaking it all up” I would venture to say from what I see and hear in my office it is agony for families. It is not witty or fun.
Switching kids from one home to another is very hard on the kids. M
ost adults are trying to survive these verbal and situational interactions, hoping their kids don’t see and hear. Of course, kids are adept at reading all the signs between their parents and in their families.
Certain parents are not good about keeping their thoughts about their X from their kids and that has to be a top priority, along with not using kids to pass messages, papers, etc.
The research shows that “blending” a family takes about seven years, if you are successful. Many new marriages crash on the threshold of step-parenting.
Many initial marriages can be saved and in fact become stronger and more intimate. Many people give up too early in the counseling process, especially after waiting too long to begin the process (average wait before seeking couple’s counseling: six years of problems).
Please don’t confuse TV with life.
Photo by